A better week for me - finally!! Rough one for Guy. 😢

When I finally got rid of my fever last Monday, after that 10 day stint, I began to feel better.  I was able to have my chemo on Thursday (moved it to Thursdays for the month of February) and get my bag of fluids on Friday.  We do keep the trail hot between Little River and Hutchinson!! 30 minute drive.

Saturday, Guy decided to have some fun and go to the gun range in McPherson, a town about 25 minutes east of us, population of a little over 13,000.  He called me and said he had a nose bleed he could not get stopped, and could I come get him.  Well, by the time I could get there, valuable time would be lost, so I told him he really needed to get to the ER immediately.  He was having trouble getting out of the bathroom because blood was everywhere, and he didn't want to leave it that way.  He did manage to find the signs to the hospital and get there.  In the meantime, I'm thinking, "I don't know if I can drive over there myself."  I had not been driving - Guy has been doing all that.  For one thing my vision has been affected, and it really bothers me to drive.  Plus, when you haven't driven for weeks, you feel really weird getting behind the wheel.  But I knew I needed to get there to see what was going on, and I didn't know if he would be able to drive home.  So I got in the car, and prayed for help to get there, and prayed for him to be alright all the way there.  It is simply amazing how you lose it, if you don't use it.

As it turned out, they had to put a balloon in for overnight to get it to stop bleeding.  We both drove home after I picked up an antibiotic prescription for him.  I was really worried about him, because he does nothing in the ordinary.  43 years ago, an artery broke in the same side of his nose.  He had to have surgery to tie that artery off (through his eye socket and up under his lip below his nose).  He spent 6 days in ICU, got 6 units of blood, and had to have a temporary tracheostomy.  In other words, he nearly died from that nose bleed.  Now here we were, taking that same course again.  The ER doctor said that the mucosa in that side of his nose was so thin, he was hesitant to try to cauterize any of it for fear it would just slough off and leave nothing there.  So, he came home with the balloon to try to shut it all off.  It did not bleed any more through the night or the next morning.  Sunday afternoon we returned to the ER to have the balloon removed and see if there would be any more bleeding.  You talk about some praying!!  I prayed nonstop the whole time!!  When the doctor removed the balloon, he saw no oozing.  He sent him home with saline spray to use several times a day to keep it moist and apply Bacitracin several times a day to help heal and build up the mucosa.  We came home, and so far it has held.  Thank you, Jesus!!!!   

Sunday morning, I actually felt fairly good.  I had been sleeping better, so I decided to go to church - 1st time I felt able to go since coming home from KC.  It seemed every time I planned to go, I would be feeling bad.  Guy was resting, so I slipped out and went to SS and church.  I was just thrilled to be able to go.  Everyone was just so happy to see me and made me feel sooooo welcome.  It was such a good service, and I really enjoyed it.  I was afraid I might overdo it, knowing we would have to return to the ER in the afternoon, but I did OK.

It is such a dilemma for me to figure out what, or how much, I can do daily.  I know I need to rest, but I also need to stay active.  I'm never quite sure if I'm over doing.  I do know that I'm overdoing when I break out in a sweat - that's one symptom that is easily evident.  😓 It doesn't take much to do that, either.  Especially if I'm stressed a little.  This "stress" thing is such an emotional roller coaster. This evening I got stressed - I had taken a nap, and when I got up, my feet felt like I was walking on a rock under the pad of my foot behind my toes - a sign of neuropathy!  ARGH!  I DO NOT WANT NEUROPATHY!!!  I fixed vegetables while guy BBQ'd a couple steaks.  By the time I sat down to eat, I was exhausted.  And the food didn't taste like what it should have.  I had kind of got my taste back last week, and now I was losing it again.  It seems the side effects of the chemo don't hit until 4-5 days after the infusion.  I get to thinking, I'm doing really well, and all of a sudden it hits - all at once!  

I needed to sit down and pay bills this evening, and that made me break out in a sweat that would not go away.  ARGH!  What an emotional WHIMP I was being tonight!!!  I just got up from the table and went to my quiet place in my recliner, did some slow deep breathing exercises and prayed.  I remembered a hymn - "Peace, peace, wonderful peace.  Coming down from the Father above.  Sweep over my spirit forever I pray, in fathomless billows of love."  I sang it over and over in my mind, and it began to calm me.  

I just hate it when I become an emotional basket case!  That is SO not me!  

I guess I'm just letting it all hang out tonight....so sorry to be such a whiner!  I wish I had something clever or funny to share - just isn't happening tonight.  😒 I know I'll not stay in this place, but for now, I'm just struggling this evening.  Trying very hard to hang in there, and crawl back up.  I just have to keep my focus on Jesus....I know He will not let me down.  This, too, shall pass.  Just need to draw up extra close to Him this evening.

As always, I'm in His hands.....