Sunday, January 15, 2017

Hit a brick wall.....ARGH!

As you know, I’ve been simply amazed that I’ve felt as good as I have.  Well, that seemed to come to a screeching halt yesterday.  L  Thursday night was the night I just couldn’t sleep – I’ve had one of those nights before -  but have fairly easily recovered.  Unfortunately, not this time.  When I lose sleep, it doesn’t hit me the next day, but the next day.  When I woke up Saturday morning, after sleeping fairly well, I felt like I was in a fog – like I had been drug through a knot-hole backwards - had blurry vision.  Just didn’t feel good.  I did get up and got dressed as I usually do after cleaning up in the bathroom – I knew better than to try to take a shower.  I decided to fix a bacon and egg sandwich.  I just got it together when I felt I was going to faint – got all hot and sweaty.  I quickly sat down in the chair with my head between my legs for several minutes.  I had eaten a small orange because I had felt like my blood sugar was low, and it was already about 9:30, so I knew I had gone past my usual breakfast time.  Guy took my blood pressure, and it was 98/58, so I decided to hold my BP medication.  I should have held my hydrochlorothiazide (water pill), but I didn’t.  That proved to be unwise, because I’ve never gone to the bathroom that much – all day long!!  So by the end of the day, I figure I’d lost a good bit of potassium – I’ve been low on potassium before, and you feel like you just don’t have the energy to get out of the chair.  But here I am, into the weekend, with icing weather, so there’s no chance to go have it checked.  Guy takes potassium with his water pill, but I was scared to take one.

So Saturday I just laid around in my recliner and napped.  They told me there would be times like this, and when they hit, just take it easy.  That’s frustrating because that is not my style.  I have so many things I want to do.  I had a bunch of quilt magazines to catch up on, but that didn’t even excite me.  Plus, my vision was “tired”, too! 

I knew I needed to drink to replace the fluids.  I still do not drink water well, especially since our water is not tasty, and we’ve been drinking bottled water.  Even the water out of the filtered refrigerator is hard to get down.  I thought my whole exhausted feeling might have something to do with me being dehydrated.  I’m sure I can get to that place easily.  So there could be a lot of factors feeding into this down time.  My temperature has stayed OK.

Thankfully, Guy had made a big batch of vegetable beef soup, so that tasted good to me and was easy to fix. I’m still trying to concentrate on getting plenty of protein.

When I went to brush and floss my teeth at bedtime, I realized my gums were swollen and tender.  Oh, nooooo……..I didn’t want to have mouth sores!!!!  I looked up in the Taxol side effects booklet to see what to do for that.  It said to mix salt and soda in warm water and rinse.  Today, there are two sores more inside my mouth below my lower lip.  I know these are all expected side effects – I don’t know why I thought I’d escape them.

All week I had soooo been looking forward to going to church today.  Then when I had such a bad day yesterday, I was afraid I would not feel like going for our 1st Sunday here. Pastor Ted had asked me to give a testimony now that we were back, and I was really looking forward to sharing. 

When I woke up this morning, I had slept pretty well, and thought I was feeling better.  I didn’t feel that terrible foggy feeling.  I was thanking God that the power was on, and the house was warm.  But shortly I saw via FB, I got a text, and I got a phone call that church had been cancelled due to icy conditions.  I was relieved, actually, because I didn’t feel like I could have made it to church.  Today, I just feel washed out!!  It is midafternoon, and I’m still in my PJs.  Anyone that knows me knows that is NOT ME!  When I get up in the mornings, I have to get completely dressed for the day.  But I guess for a little while, I will find a new normal. 

I need to learn that high expectations are OK not to reach every day.  That is tough for me!!

I was thankful I could tune into to the livestream feed from our Westwood Baptist Church back in Alabama.  I did enjoy that, seeing all the praise team and singing along with them.

From New Every Morning            When the Seas Aren’t Calm

He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.  Matt. 8:26

As every woman knows, some days are just plain difficult.  Every woman faces days when the baby is sick, when the laundry is piles high, and the bills are piled even higher.

When we find ourselves overtaken by the inevitable frustrations of life, we must catch ourselves, take a deep breath, and lift our thoughts upward.  Although we are here on earth struggling to rise above the distractions of the day, we need never struggle alone.  God is here – eternal and faithful – and, if we reach out to Him, He will restore perspective and peace to our souls.

Sometimes, even the most devout Christian can become discouraged, and you are no exception.  After all, you live in a world where expectations can be high and demands can be even higher.

If you find yourself enduring difficult circumnutates, remember that God remains in His heaven.  If you become discourage with the direction of your day or your life, take a moment to offer your thoughts and prayers to Him.  He is a God of possibility, and He will guide you through your difficulties and beyond them.

And as always…..I remain in His hands….

1 comment:

  1. Sheryl: At your next chemo ask nurse or Dr. if you can get a prescription for Nystatin oral rinse (or similar).I used that - it helps mouth sores.