Yesterday the home health RN
came by to change the dressing on my arm and my leg. She raved about both of them. As I’ve said before, I’m not an expert on
grafts and what they look like as they heal.
I can see a large area in the center of my arm graft that is nice and
pick. She said that area is
“healed”. But up near my wrist, it is
anything but pink. The area all around
the outside of the stitches is nice and pink.
She still says it is healing nicely. My leg is less “drippy” now, so it doesn’t
come through the dressing and get on my clothes or bed any more.
Later in the
afternoon, the OT came by and gave me some exercises to do for my very stiff
fingers of the left hand, now that that arm is out of the splint. I’m allowed to move my fingers – just not
bend my wrist much yet. Bending it is
very painful anyway. It is amazing how
something deteriorates when you haven’t use it for a couple weeks. My fingers had become all dry and
flakey. So I scrubbed the dry skin off
and have been putting lotion on to get them to come back to life. I use them to type on my laptop, and that is
good therapy for them, too. Guy bent my glasses a little on the left side, so
the ear piece doesn’t impinge on the suture line. So, with my vision back, and my left hand coming
back, it is a lot easier to read and type.
I am able to totally dress
myself now, although it takes me a long time.
My next goal is to be to do all that without breaking out in a sweat
while doing it.
This morning Guy wanted to
take me to breakfast at Einstein’s Bagels.
I think bagels are about as popular here as soccer is. That place is always packed. I’m not a morning person anyway, so I was tired
this morning, but I thought I should go.
It would be good for me to get out.
I chose one of my hats to wear, and off we went.
When I ordered these hats, I
was excited for them to arrive, but now that I have them, I don’t like wearing
them. For one, the stitches are tender
at my hairline – where I do have feeling.
But more than that, when I have one of the hats on, I look, and thus
feel, like a cancer patient. When I’m
home, I don’t wear a hat, and momentarily I can kind of forget. I don’t want to look and feel like a cancer
patient. I don’t want to BE a cancer
patient. That’s all I could think of
sitting there in the bagel place. I don’t want to be a cancer patient…..I don’t
want to be a cancer patient…….but the reality is, I am. *sigh* When I got in the car to go home,
I started to cry. I don’t want to be a
cancer patient…..
Guy, wisely, did not take me
home. He took me to Academy Sports. I wanted to just sit in the car, but I went
in. I had been wanting to get me some nice
sweat pants and shirt. Something comfortable,
but not the frumpy Walmart kind that shrink 2” after one washing. I found some nice ones, on a sale rack, even. And I also found a nice red tweed soft cable
knit cap with a soft, seamless lining.
It just looked like a normal comfy winter hat – not a cancer hat! I could wear that, and no one would know!
Today for the first time, I
deliberately touched the flap on my head.
I don’t know why I hadn’t before.
Perhaps a little bit of denial going on…..I held the hand mirror and looked
in the bathroom mirror. It is so
strange. It is soft and warm all
over. Just feels kind of like a lamb’s
leather jacket I have – only warm. Since
it doesn’t have any feeling, it doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. I guess we’ll eventually become friends. :)
It’s been kind of an
up-and-down mood day. I couldn’t even
really get into the Alabama football game.
The KU game was exciting though!
As always, I remain in His
hands….
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