Last night when I went to bed, I had a headache – my stitches were OK, but it was just a crying-headache. I was so spent. I laid my head on my pillow and said to myself, “You must focus on your blessings! What are you thankful for? Not what do you FEEL thankful for, but what ARE you thankful for?” It took me a little bit to get started, but I just laid there and began……I’m thankful for Jesus as my Savior, I’m thankful for my husband who stands by my side, I’m thankful for my children and grandchildren whom I love dearly, I’m thankful for this house – a comfortable place to stay. On and on I went, and when I woke up this morning, I realized that I fell right to sleep being thankful.
Today has been a better day. I only cried once when I had to tell my home health nurse the news. Well, I teared up several times reading all the wonderfully encouraging comments from all of you. Y’all just blow me away!! I’m SO blessed by all of you!!!
I got a call from my daughter, and she always gives me a pep talk with just the right thing to say. In talking with her I came to the realization that what has help me to make it this far (besides God, of course!) is my “strength jar”. When I started this journey, I was a pretty strong person. Other than my knee replacement and my ankle surgery 3 years ago, I had had it pretty good – no major illnesses or chronic illnesses. With my parents both living into their 90s, I just kind of figured that I might do the same – or at least had a good chance. However, when this all came along, my “jar” started getting dipped into. But what I’ve realized is that, even though huge withdrawals from that jar have happened over and over again lately, it keeps getting replenished by all my family and friends. THAT’S how I can keep going! All of you, with your prayers, comments, cards, notes of encouragement, and calls have continually replenished my strength jar!!!
I’m not in any way discounting how much God has been a part of all this. I know He is in total control of it all. I know He has held my hands (both of them) all the way – been carrying me most of the way. I know His healing hand has touched me again and again. I know he has guided the surgeon’s hands. I know He sent the best nurses to care for me. I know He has showed me Scripture that I needed right at that moment. I know He has brought inspirational songs to my mind again and again. I also know He has sent all of you into my life to comfort and encourage me. For ALL of this, I will be forever grateful. Because of ALL of this, I press on – I cannot give up now. Whether I am healed here, or receive my eternal healing there, I will . be . healed. In the meantime, I will do whatever I need to do to conquer this monster!
And thanks to each and every one of you for being such an integral part of my life during this very arduous journey!!
As always, I’m in His hands…..